So guess what. We told the game to fuck off. Why? Not because we're sleepy (I know what you all think of me) or because we can't possibly come close to beating it in the time we had... No, it's because the game stopped being fun. Like, completely. In fact, it stopped being fun about after about... hour 8. It's a frustrating fucking game. It's poorly designed in many respects and it behaves more like an endurance test than any game I've ever played. I mean, really, 6 hours in one dungeon! We're not cool and so we're pretty good at video games, and for both of us to get stuck at the exact same place suggests that a gentle sloping learning curve has been cruelly replaced with a spiked punishment wall of anguish.
Also, even if we had given ourselves 60 hours I doubt we would have been able to beat it, but that's beside the point.
Yes, it's disappointing, devastating even, but we're not doing this for your entertainment, oh rabid fans worldwide. We're doing this for our entertainment! And ours died at about 3 goddamn pm YESTERDAY. So, yeah. We got pretty far, had some laughs, then got super stuck and didn't care to go back and level up for 7 more hours just so we could get to the next impossible boss.
Sorry dudes. Maybe next year!
love,
Second Place 4eva
Monday, August 13, 2007
Hour 29
Same boss, same dungeon, total of 6 agonizing hours. Even if we were to play this game flawlessly I'm still not sure that we would have come close to doing it in 48 hours. I'm not sure how beating it in the allotted time would have been somehow LESS of a waste of 48 hours, but that's how the male mind works. I know this is a male phenomenon because any girl who has come to watch has been absolutely baffled, angry even.
Mercy and heavens, I feel like a crazy person. I got through a wall of sorts, but now I'm in a strange place that scares me and smells weird.
Mercy and heavens, I feel like a crazy person. I got through a wall of sorts, but now I'm in a strange place that scares me and smells weird.
Hour 27
So I fought a T-Rex. And WON.
In the game, however, things aren't quite as exciting. Alex and I, still, are in the same dungeon, slogging it out like a bunch of poopy children. VICTORY!!! is slowly slipping through our fingers, and even though VICTORY!!! at this point is but a fond dream, we must continue, knowing we will fail. Why? Because we said we would, and if two full-grown men can't keep their promises regarding continuous video gaming, well, maybe I don't want to live in a world like that.
I sort of feel like a visitor in my own body right now. And I am unwelcome. Perhaps... yes, maybe some Final Fantasy will be just the thing I need to set myself just as right as rain again!
Toodle-oo!
In the game, however, things aren't quite as exciting. Alex and I, still, are in the same dungeon, slogging it out like a bunch of poopy children. VICTORY!!! is slowly slipping through our fingers, and even though VICTORY!!! at this point is but a fond dream, we must continue, knowing we will fail. Why? Because we said we would, and if two full-grown men can't keep their promises regarding continuous video gaming, well, maybe I don't want to live in a world like that.
I sort of feel like a visitor in my own body right now. And I am unwelcome. Perhaps... yes, maybe some Final Fantasy will be just the thing I need to set myself just as right as rain again!
Toodle-oo!
Hour 25
This challenge is indeed formidable. My body and brain and feelings hurt pretty bad... The game, impossible. The situation, grueling. The gut, rotting.
Alex and I continue to be within a hair's breadth of each other, and we both seem to have a dungeon that cannot be beaten by anyone close to our level. The seemingly endless parade of well-wishers and bon-vivants has slowed down to a trickle, and, indeed, we are alone now, at our hardest hour yet. Fair-weather fans, I say! Or perhaps you all have jobs monday morning? Fie! Fie to that! A thousand herds of blossoming fie!
And my 'energy boosters' are doing me no favours. My heart's raring to go and is jumping in its bed, but the area surrounding the heart ("everything else") is not so keen.
My my my!
Alex and I continue to be within a hair's breadth of each other, and we both seem to have a dungeon that cannot be beaten by anyone close to our level. The seemingly endless parade of well-wishers and bon-vivants has slowed down to a trickle, and, indeed, we are alone now, at our hardest hour yet. Fair-weather fans, I say! Or perhaps you all have jobs monday morning? Fie! Fie to that! A thousand herds of blossoming fie!
And my 'energy boosters' are doing me no favours. My heart's raring to go and is jumping in its bed, but the area surrounding the heart ("everything else") is not so keen.
My my my!
EXCLUSIVE!!!!!!
This is guest blogger Colin Drake reporting live from the 2007 final fantasy race. its utter pandemonium in here. I almost left my press pass at home and wasn't allowed entry. we have scalpers outside selling tickets for 1500$. nearly twice ticketmaster price. it was like a mahine gun blast of flashes from the paparazzi as I was entering. despite the media hype and attention its been getting around north america, the two competitors seemed relatively unphased.
At this hour there is marginal lead by Sandy. "i dunno. roughly half an hour" said sandy when questioned. Sandy appears strong and focused, he definately doesn't want to become the buffalo bills of the final fantasy race. While alex is behind, there seems to be a unrelenting force that secretly drives him. there is a definite odour/aura in the room...."the odour in the room is adventure" said sandy.
How would you rate your current energy levels
A L: "I'd say about 60%"
S T: "um, 70%"
What's been the coolest enemie you have faced?
S T: "that (yawn) the gigas"
A L: "I'll go with the demon wall"
who is the best looking character?
S T: "oh, what's his name...balthier...we are all about men"
A L: "balthier...he's a real dreamboat"
Who is the person you would want to be at this event?
S T: "jason"
A L: "jason"
is he a inspiration?
S T: yes
What is your opponents greatest strength and weakness?
ST: persistence...persistence
AL: "um sandy's greatest weakness is his sleepiness, his greatest strength, being a little bitch....no...um...just his good natured go get'em attitude, just I mean...he's plucky...that's what I'm looking for."
ST: "like what retards have"
any parting words to your fans?
AL: "umm, write sandy demoralizing messages"
ST: "write sandy remoralizing messages"
e.g
sandy..eat a dick
DON'T eat that dick sandy
"dumps dump dumps. close it up. that's the..."
this has been Colin Drake reporting live from the 2007 final fantasy race, back to you Bob
At this hour there is marginal lead by Sandy. "i dunno. roughly half an hour" said sandy when questioned. Sandy appears strong and focused, he definately doesn't want to become the buffalo bills of the final fantasy race. While alex is behind, there seems to be a unrelenting force that secretly drives him. there is a definite odour/aura in the room...."the odour in the room is adventure" said sandy.
How would you rate your current energy levels
A L: "I'd say about 60%"
S T: "um, 70%"
What's been the coolest enemie you have faced?
S T: "that (yawn) the gigas"
A L: "I'll go with the demon wall"
who is the best looking character?
S T: "oh, what's his name...balthier...we are all about men"
A L: "balthier...he's a real dreamboat"
Who is the person you would want to be at this event?
S T: "jason"
A L: "jason"
is he a inspiration?
S T: yes
What is your opponents greatest strength and weakness?
ST: persistence...persistence
AL: "um sandy's greatest weakness is his sleepiness, his greatest strength, being a little bitch....no...um...just his good natured go get'em attitude, just I mean...he's plucky...that's what I'm looking for."
ST: "like what retards have"
any parting words to your fans?
AL: "umm, write sandy demoralizing messages"
ST: "write sandy remoralizing messages"
e.g
sandy..eat a dick
DON'T eat that dick sandy
"dumps dump dumps. close it up. that's the..."
this has been Colin Drake reporting live from the 2007 final fantasy race, back to you Bob
Hour 23
After a small flurry of guestblogs, provided to us by Dale and Erica Jacobson, we're back to our regularly scheduled bloggigogins.
Um, nothing's really changed since last update... I'm still mostly ahead, if a little stuck. And I got eager, perhaps due to the smell of Erica's intoxication, and cracked out the Rockstar Alchoheine beverage provided by young Jason.
Alex can't even beat up some stupid dogs in a cave... I was using them to level up! He doesn't even know how far behind he is... But fortunes can change quickly, not to mention that we're skirting around what a victory could even conceivably mean when, inevitably, we're going to have to stop at hour 48. It's a shame we couldn't have budgeted more time, but on the other hand, it's not a shame even a little bit. It means that there is an end in sight.
Um, nothing's really changed since last update... I'm still mostly ahead, if a little stuck. And I got eager, perhaps due to the smell of Erica's intoxication, and cracked out the Rockstar Alchoheine beverage provided by young Jason.
Alex can't even beat up some stupid dogs in a cave... I was using them to level up! He doesn't even know how far behind he is... But fortunes can change quickly, not to mention that we're skirting around what a victory could even conceivably mean when, inevitably, we're going to have to stop at hour 48. It's a shame we couldn't have budgeted more time, but on the other hand, it's not a shame even a little bit. It means that there is an end in sight.
hey. you're okay, maybe.
I don't know. What the fuck is with the saxophone. I'm drunk. You're stupid. I don't like you. smell. I'm drunk and not able to watch this game because it's ha! Ha! I like fun. okay.
Guest Post! Dale - 21st hour
I can't say that I know this man that goes by the name of Sandy well.. but I feel drawn by the warrior blood that flows through him. The Good Lord was on fire when he rolled the die for this titan's charisma. While Alex has taken the prize on all past FFRs, his ego is going to take him to an early grrave this year. His heart is not in it.. but sitting next to Sandy I can SMELL the the fighting spirit. Valor and honor are not virtues this man lacks.
While Vegas odds would colour me foolish, I'm putting all my Gil on Sandy in this, the year of our Lord.
Peace be with you.
-Dale
While Vegas odds would colour me foolish, I'm putting all my Gil on Sandy in this, the year of our Lord.
Peace be with you.
-Dale
Hour 21
So I've got a pretty solid lead in front of Alex, and something much more important: The Mental Edge. See, now HE is the whiny baby not having any fun. He's having trouble! This game is too long! Waa waa! My guacamole is too salty! Bloo ba bloo.
What a stupid baby.
Except, of course, the game is too long.
Do you think I italicize too much?
Coming up on the first full day, and I'm feeling pretty good... The heart palpitations aren't debilatingly severe, and Lady Gut Rot has not yet shown up for the Indigestion Ball. So thumbs up all around.
What a stupid baby.
Except, of course, the game is too long.
Do you think I italicize too much?
Coming up on the first full day, and I'm feeling pretty good... The heart palpitations aren't debilatingly severe, and Lady Gut Rot has not yet shown up for the Indigestion Ball. So thumbs up all around.
Guest Post! Gustavo - 20th hour
Hey sports fans!
Here I am at Casa Fantasy and it's coming up on 21 hours and the excitement is growing with every passing minutes. We have another guest here (Dale) and the two warriors are filling him in on present circumstances and on previous final fantasy races. This Final Fantasy race is different than others, and it's interesting to be able to blog about this, it is also nice to do something other than keeping them awake and reminding them that they have fans of their awesomeness.
This Final Fantasy race seems to be a real challenge for the two. As they continue to talk about past Final Fantasy games and video games in general, I am amazed at how alert they are right now. In the past, I've discovered the two warriors asleep, one time I even found them cuddling! Tres cute. This one is turning out to be really fun!!
As a fan of both Sandy and Alex, it is hard to sit here without wanting to help them out somehow. Powerade seems to help them out. But this time around I find myself wanting to put some sleeping pills in Alex's powerade to give Mr. Taronno an edge. Although he is slightly ahead, I predict that sleep will get the best of him. As his friend, I have experienced the Taronno sleep take control over this man and it's not pretty. Alex is a determined fellow, and a good guy so I won't be poisining him, I'll just cheer Sandy on and hope the best for him.
Good night and I'll see you here
-Gustavo
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Hour 19
Weeee, 19 hours. Now we're getting into the heart of the matter. I've been stumbling around in the same dungeon for a good chunk of time now, patiently gathering experience, and yet I'm not having any easier time with any bosses than Al, who is a couple levels below me... He's got some sort of connection with this game, I think... I heard him murmuring to his controller once.
We've had many visitors, all have been simultaneously fascinated, bored and somewhat... respectfully solemn. We appreciate that. The arena keeps getting filthier, too, as people bring in food and we half-heartedly attempt to make our own, and somehow only a small percentage of any of the nourishment makes it into bellies. Likely by the end of the game we'll have a fully fledged ecofriendly compostorium, with healthy female hemp plants and gentle soy, tall and proud.
A science-minded friend advised that the pills I have taken/will continue to take are bad for my heart... To this I say, why not shave a couple hours off one's life if this is how one chooses to spend it?
We've had many visitors, all have been simultaneously fascinated, bored and somewhat... respectfully solemn. We appreciate that. The arena keeps getting filthier, too, as people bring in food and we half-heartedly attempt to make our own, and somehow only a small percentage of any of the nourishment makes it into bellies. Likely by the end of the game we'll have a fully fledged ecofriendly compostorium, with healthy female hemp plants and gentle soy, tall and proud.
A science-minded friend advised that the pills I have taken/will continue to take are bad for my heart... To this I say, why not shave a couple hours off one's life if this is how one chooses to spend it?
Hour 17
Hey guys,
I just popped a couple of my energy boosters. It's not that late yet, but the mind is resisting the thought of doing this for 3 times as long as we've already been at it, so it's trying to shut down. Not now, brain! Later.
So far some educated opinions have been arguing that what we are attempting cannot be done in 48 hours. This is saddening, as it will be extremely hollow to come so far and then have to shut er down just so I can go to work.
We're still roughly in the same place, but neither of us particularly know what to do... Oh, please let the rest of the game be easier... Of course, that's generally not how games go... Generally learning curves go up rather than down.
I just popped a couple of my energy boosters. It's not that late yet, but the mind is resisting the thought of doing this for 3 times as long as we've already been at it, so it's trying to shut down. Not now, brain! Later.
So far some educated opinions have been arguing that what we are attempting cannot be done in 48 hours. This is saddening, as it will be extremely hollow to come so far and then have to shut er down just so I can go to work.
We're still roughly in the same place, but neither of us particularly know what to do... Oh, please let the rest of the game be easier... Of course, that's generally not how games go... Generally learning curves go up rather than down.
Hour 15
DAMNNNDAMNDAMN THE GARUDA KEEPS BEATING ME! There's probably a secret hidden somewhere, but is it worth it to go find it, or keep trying? Alex somehow got past it... He's probably about 20 minutes ahead now. How does this continually happen? Considering the basic moves are fight, magic and item, why does it seem like he's got tricks up his sleeve? Of course his mood has improved considerably now that he's comfortably winning.
I'm deeply concerned, though. We're both having a hell of time with this game... It's as if the developers didn't intend for it to be played in one sitting.
Also, I'm sweaty.
I'm probably going to go have a shower and a shave in the next couple hours. Stay tuned for pics! Just joking!
I'm deeply concerned, though. We're both having a hell of time with this game... It's as if the developers didn't intend for it to be played in one sitting.
Also, I'm sweaty.
I'm probably going to go have a shower and a shave in the next couple hours. Stay tuned for pics! Just joking!
Hour 13
An epic, soaring twist! Alex's last hour was spent in vain! We're both slogging through the same hell-desert, both leveling up profusely, and, nearly identically, we got into some advanced situations. The difference? Only one of us escaped safely to a save-point. And it was not your "champion". That's right, things are coming up Sandy, or Not-Alex at least. Even his guacamole sucked. It was too salty!
And dear, dear Final Fantasy Fan Jason has shown up bearing a multitude of carbonated gifts. Two beers for this guy and two rootbeers for that, and one Rock Star caffeine-binge drink to counteract the two beers. S'Wonderful!
And dear, dear Final Fantasy Fan Jason has shown up bearing a multitude of carbonated gifts. Two beers for this guy and two rootbeers for that, and one Rock Star caffeine-binge drink to counteract the two beers. S'Wonderful!
Hour 11
I'm ahead a little bit! Probably not for long, but I've been zipping through dungeons and such, all while Alex had accidentally set one of us characters to continually attack his own party with Fire. Looks like someone shoudn't have been up so late "partying"! Anyway, he's done mewling like a little kitty cat, and now he's back with renewed, terrifying vigour.
So much of the game is essentially setting-up how things are going to go, and then kicking back and watching. In an odd reversal, it's furious and frenetic menu usage and then strangely calming fights.
But you guys probably don't want to hear about the game, you guys are here for the dirt: How do we smell? See next paragraph for answer.
Bad.
Already?
Yup.
So much of the game is essentially setting-up how things are going to go, and then kicking back and watching. In an odd reversal, it's furious and frenetic menu usage and then strangely calming fights.
But you guys probably don't want to hear about the game, you guys are here for the dirt: How do we smell? See next paragraph for answer.
Bad.
Already?
Yup.
Hour 9
We've had some visitors thus far, which has been nice. Thanks Colin, Lori, Gill, George, Adam, Curran. For anyone who is on the fence as to whether or not to drop by, let me assure you and I'm sure all guests will agree, it is amazingly exciting and not depressing at all.
The body always seemes a little upset to just sit for 9 hours straight, but soon it will be wrestled into an icy acceptance and most bodily functions and emotions eventually fade to the background.
As for the game, the most important thing to know is that I have a crush on Balthier.... He's so... in control.
Off to testify for Basch's existence.
The body always seemes a little upset to just sit for 9 hours straight, but soon it will be wrestled into an icy acceptance and most bodily functions and emotions eventually fade to the background.
As for the game, the most important thing to know is that I have a crush on Balthier.... He's so... in control.
Off to testify for Basch's existence.
Hour 7
Hey! Hour 7!
We were damn near neck-in-neck again, and then a certain stupid retard who is blogging right now goes ahead and dies a couple of times at the Mimic Queen! This game will not be very fun, nor competitive if I keep playing like I currently am. Alex seems a little grouchy (what with the no sleep), except it seems to be improving his game.
Which brings me to a thought I keep having: If two friends die from playing Final Fantasy together, does anyone care?
We were damn near neck-in-neck again, and then a certain stupid retard who is blogging right now goes ahead and dies a couple of times at the Mimic Queen! This game will not be very fun, nor competitive if I keep playing like I currently am. Alex seems a little grouchy (what with the no sleep), except it seems to be improving his game.
Which brings me to a thought I keep having: If two friends die from playing Final Fantasy together, does anyone care?
Hour 5
I can already feel time accellerating disturbingly rapidly... It's as if time does not want to be used in this way.
Alex has about 15 minutes on me, but I think I'm making some headway. He's also clearly hurting from his 4 hours of sleep before this... He's already played longer than he's slept. Mostly he just sits there, eyes afixed, expelling gasses from various body holes. Eating cheerios. As he has mentioned, for the first time he's got easy access to cheerios, which, as anyone who is acquainted with him knows, is his fuel.
The most disturbing part so far is how danged hard this game is. Usually the first 10 hours or so is really just as matter of staring glassily at the screen and pressing the A button, but with this new battle system we've got to run around and keep constantly vigilant. Concentration is really going to be of the essence.
Alex has about 15 minutes on me, but I think I'm making some headway. He's also clearly hurting from his 4 hours of sleep before this... He's already played longer than he's slept. Mostly he just sits there, eyes afixed, expelling gasses from various body holes. Eating cheerios. As he has mentioned, for the first time he's got easy access to cheerios, which, as anyone who is acquainted with him knows, is his fuel.
The most disturbing part so far is how danged hard this game is. Usually the first 10 hours or so is really just as matter of staring glassily at the screen and pressing the A button, but with this new battle system we've got to run around and keep constantly vigilant. Concentration is really going to be of the essence.
Hour 3
So I keep wondering where all of the 24 confirmed guests to this event are, and then I remember that it's 8:15 AM on a Sunday. Weird.
The primary difficulty I've faced so far is the amount of 'maptitude' needed to navigate around this world. I don't have very much maptitude. But no matter, for I have something Alex doesn't have... Recently discontinued drugs! (Xenadrine RFA-1!) They're marketed as a weight-loss drug, but as they're basically only caffeine and ephedrine, it's cunningly marketed as an 'energy boost' in Canada.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Alex and I are about 15 seconds apart and this blogigogging is taking up valuable race time. Time is gils, after all.
The primary difficulty I've faced so far is the amount of 'maptitude' needed to navigate around this world. I don't have very much maptitude. But no matter, for I have something Alex doesn't have... Recently discontinued drugs! (Xenadrine RFA-1!) They're marketed as a weight-loss drug, but as they're basically only caffeine and ephedrine, it's cunningly marketed as an 'energy boost' in Canada.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Alex and I are about 15 seconds apart and this blogigogging is taking up valuable race time. Time is gils, after all.
Hour 1
Alright, first official blog, first official can of beans. I heard I need to keep my protein up and my carbs low to stay on my "A" game.
My initial impressions thus far: This game is going to be absolutely, unrepentedly enormous. It will beat us over the brow with its hugeness, then proceed to squat on our faces and lay a gigantic steaming pile of big bigness, I predict.
We alternate between having sound, and I remember from last time how moralizing sound can be, and I was able to enjoy the first hour with it, so now for 55 minutes of silence. Back to it.
My initial impressions thus far: This game is going to be absolutely, unrepentedly enormous. It will beat us over the brow with its hugeness, then proceed to squat on our faces and lay a gigantic steaming pile of big bigness, I predict.
We alternate between having sound, and I remember from last time how moralizing sound can be, and I was able to enjoy the first hour with it, so now for 55 minutes of silence. Back to it.
And Thus:
We begin. All preparations have been made, meals planned, linen pants put on, discontinued (for legal reasons) 'energy boosters' sitting on table ready to be called to action.
Of course, I'd like to thank all of the people who have commented and sent me their well-wishes and apologies. I'm not going to lie, I want this win. I want it bad. At least right now I do, at 5 in the morning with Van Halen's Jump playing at me.
All of the psychological tactics essentially stop now, except for Alex's best tactic of all: Hunkering down and playing a god-damn game for many, many dozens of hours seemingly unfazed. It's an intimidating thing to watch, and certainly a horrifying thing to do, but I feel like this time, this year, the underdog will get his delicious due. Deliciously.
Keep posted every hour, we will be alternating short blogs.
Bye!
Of course, I'd like to thank all of the people who have commented and sent me their well-wishes and apologies. I'm not going to lie, I want this win. I want it bad. At least right now I do, at 5 in the morning with Van Halen's Jump playing at me.
All of the psychological tactics essentially stop now, except for Alex's best tactic of all: Hunkering down and playing a god-damn game for many, many dozens of hours seemingly unfazed. It's an intimidating thing to watch, and certainly a horrifying thing to do, but I feel like this time, this year, the underdog will get his delicious due. Deliciously.
Keep posted every hour, we will be alternating short blogs.
Bye!
Saturday, August 11, 2007
I'm Going to Bed
Seeing as how it's the last I'll get to sleep until, likely, 5 am Tuesday, I'm trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Alex, in his cockiness, is going out to party. Wow, what a bad-ass. Perhaps a brief tutorial on how Alex "parties" is in order:
1. Arrive at party.
2. See how much fun everyone is having.
3. Find an unoccupied corner, or soft cushioned area.
4. Sit.
5. Mope.
6. Judge.
7 (optional). Sit on covered toilet with knees in your black t-shirt and muffle your sobs for remainder of party.
Here is Alex at the last party he went to, deep in Step 5. Notice the concerned expression I have for my poor, lonely friend:
1. Arrive at party.
2. See how much fun everyone is having.
3. Find an unoccupied corner, or soft cushioned area.
4. Sit.
5. Mope.
6. Judge.
7 (optional). Sit on covered toilet with knees in your black t-shirt and muffle your sobs for remainder of party.
Here is Alex at the last party he went to, deep in Step 5. Notice the concerned expression I have for my poor, lonely friend:
I think we can all presume he won't be exerting himself too much tonight. See you in 6 hours!
Friday, August 10, 2007
So Alex set up a pity group for me on Facebook. How kind! How sincere. Only now am I realizing that making our little event more public has given Alex something he has never had before: a stage. Some of us can handle a small amount of public attention, and we deal with it maturely and soberly, and some of us deal with it slightly differently.
It's becoming clear that what was once an amusing exercise in futility has mutated into a grimly Sysyphean task that will be played out against a backdrop of jeering, abusive faces.
It's becoming clear that what was once an amusing exercise in futility has mutated into a grimly Sysyphean task that will be played out against a backdrop of jeering, abusive faces.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Update.
Well, I was a little curious so I did some research into approximately how long this game is supposed to be. Conservative estimates put it at 50 hours. This is terrible news. Alex is going to try and play it cool, but I know he's nervous too. That means that all of the rest of my life has to be put completely on hold for 3 days.
What the fuck are we doing?
What the fuck are we doing?
Friday, August 3, 2007
A Little History
What makes a hero? Bravery, fortitude and valour? A willingness to sacrifice oneself for the benefit of others? The ability to cast Flare?
Yes, it is all these things of which a hero is made. And this is why, for the fifth year in a row, Alex Leithead and I will be heroes. Not unlike Terra, Cloud, Zidane and whoever the main guy was in Final Fantasy IV, we will face great adversity and be challenged to the very core, bludgeoned by lack of sleep and gut rot. And every year we will stand triumphant, if bloodied and wearied, knowing that we have made the world a better place for Alex to brag in.
The name of the game is Final Fantasy Race, and the fame of the game is that we choose an installment from the popular Final Fantasy series and play it continuously, TV next to TV, until someone beats it. The pain of the game is that I have only lost.
Sleep is technically allowed, but ONLY if you're me, and only if I want to lose. As such, they are essentially endurance marathons, which test fortitude, gaming-skills and raw, obnoxious persistence. But this year, there's a small twist! In order to upgrade the activity from hobby to sport, Alex and I will be liveblogging throughout, every hour or so, on this blog and this blog. Now our lazy or deformed fans can enjoy all of the action from the comfort of their computer screens.
This year we bring you Final Fantasy XII ("The Finalest Fantasy of Them All"). In it, we expect there to be a plucky young hero with spiked or otherwise unruly hair, wielding an oversized sword, battling to save or protect something to do with crysals, and a villian who possibly has been corrupted by power, or the need for power. How can I make these predictions? I merely speak from four years of expertise on this particular subject, which is my segue into a brief recap:
2003, Final Fantasy VI: That which started it all also happens to be my favourite video game of all time. We were neck in neck for only about the first hour or so, and then, after my embarrassing death outside of Edward's castle (?!), we basically pulled back and forth away from each other. However, after a few too many episodes of my Locke trying to walk through a wall for half hours at a time, Alex decidedly pulled ahead, and although we both entered Kefka's tower nearly simultaneously, only one of us was truly ready for battle. My shortcut technique of grabbing the Moogle Belt early on to avoid fights had clearly backfired. I was promptly maimed by one of the dragons, and fell asleep. Alex 1, Sandy 0.
2004, Final Fantasy VII: This was the longest battle thus far, clocking in at about 37 hours. I had always been rather impartial to this particular game, as, at the time of the game's development, video game systems were in their polygonoidal phase, wherein your character was a fanciful collection of blue polygons who had to do battle with a threatening assortment of red polygons, all amidst the whimsical green polygon forest. Anyway, my distaste for the graphics soon translated into a sheer ineptitude for the game, and I basically straggled through the entire course of it, taking at least one 4o minute "power-nap" which set me devastatingly behind. And yet my weakest showing was still to come... Alex 2, Sandy 0.
2005, Final Fantasy IV: Compared to the last behemoth, this should have been a veritable stroll through pleasure-town. I was back on the SNES where I felt most at home, playing a game that really could only last about 24 hours. Planning was typically poor on my behalf and I think we started playing after I had already worked and been up for 10 hours. My heart just wasn't into it. Anyway, the details are typically sketchy, and I typically packed it in early because I had made plans with someone the next day. Typical. Alex 3, Sandy 0.
2006, Final Fantasy IX: After the sound and round spanking I had received from my competitor last year, I came back re-invigorated and hungry for my first win. The planning and preperations went from 'sketchy' to 'modest', and the level of pumped-osity went from 'not-so-much' to 'Whoo!'. I even had a secret weapon: caffeine pills, to counteract my not-so-secret weakness: constant need for sweet slumber.
This match was held outside in a veranda which certainly helped morale, and amusingly messed with our sense of chronology as we watched the sun set only to see it rise seemingly minutes later.
It was by far the most intense of the competitions, with much hand-wringing and nail-biting... Alex entered the final castle before me, and I felt that all was lost yet again, but upon entering into battle with the final boss, it was HE who was spanked! A surge of energy entered my soul! And then a surge of rationality came to douse the flames. He was nowhere near beating that awful thing, and I was (surprise) slightly weaker. This game was going to last 4 more hours. I, of course, would have whinededly gone to bed were I in his situation, but Alex is made of tougher stuff, and while I blundered on in trying to take my stab at it, he went right back at the villain. Maimed again by a mid-level boss, I pulled my trademark move and gave the hell up to watch him, who, miracle of miracles, was somehow doing far better against the beast this time even though he had not leveled up or gotten any more powerful. My God, ladies and gentlemen, that's Gamesmanship. It was actually with a sense of relief that I saw him take yet another victory. It meant blissful sleep, this time with slightly more dignity for this Shitty Gladiator.
Anyway, we will see if Al can go five for five August 12. My money is on yes, he can. And as you can see, my sense of self-worth has been effectively ravaged by the quadfecta of defeat. In fact, I've made a graph about it:
Yes, it is all these things of which a hero is made. And this is why, for the fifth year in a row, Alex Leithead and I will be heroes. Not unlike Terra, Cloud, Zidane and whoever the main guy was in Final Fantasy IV, we will face great adversity and be challenged to the very core, bludgeoned by lack of sleep and gut rot. And every year we will stand triumphant, if bloodied and wearied, knowing that we have made the world a better place for Alex to brag in.
The name of the game is Final Fantasy Race, and the fame of the game is that we choose an installment from the popular Final Fantasy series and play it continuously, TV next to TV, until someone beats it. The pain of the game is that I have only lost.
Sleep is technically allowed, but ONLY if you're me, and only if I want to lose. As such, they are essentially endurance marathons, which test fortitude, gaming-skills and raw, obnoxious persistence. But this year, there's a small twist! In order to upgrade the activity from hobby to sport, Alex and I will be liveblogging throughout, every hour or so, on this blog and this blog. Now our lazy or deformed fans can enjoy all of the action from the comfort of their computer screens.
This year we bring you Final Fantasy XII ("The Finalest Fantasy of Them All"). In it, we expect there to be a plucky young hero with spiked or otherwise unruly hair, wielding an oversized sword, battling to save or protect something to do with crysals, and a villian who possibly has been corrupted by power, or the need for power. How can I make these predictions? I merely speak from four years of expertise on this particular subject, which is my segue into a brief recap:
2003, Final Fantasy VI: That which started it all also happens to be my favourite video game of all time. We were neck in neck for only about the first hour or so, and then, after my embarrassing death outside of Edward's castle (?!), we basically pulled back and forth away from each other. However, after a few too many episodes of my Locke trying to walk through a wall for half hours at a time, Alex decidedly pulled ahead, and although we both entered Kefka's tower nearly simultaneously, only one of us was truly ready for battle. My shortcut technique of grabbing the Moogle Belt early on to avoid fights had clearly backfired. I was promptly maimed by one of the dragons, and fell asleep. Alex 1, Sandy 0.
2004, Final Fantasy VII: This was the longest battle thus far, clocking in at about 37 hours. I had always been rather impartial to this particular game, as, at the time of the game's development, video game systems were in their polygonoidal phase, wherein your character was a fanciful collection of blue polygons who had to do battle with a threatening assortment of red polygons, all amidst the whimsical green polygon forest. Anyway, my distaste for the graphics soon translated into a sheer ineptitude for the game, and I basically straggled through the entire course of it, taking at least one 4o minute "power-nap" which set me devastatingly behind. And yet my weakest showing was still to come... Alex 2, Sandy 0.
2005, Final Fantasy IV: Compared to the last behemoth, this should have been a veritable stroll through pleasure-town. I was back on the SNES where I felt most at home, playing a game that really could only last about 24 hours. Planning was typically poor on my behalf and I think we started playing after I had already worked and been up for 10 hours. My heart just wasn't into it. Anyway, the details are typically sketchy, and I typically packed it in early because I had made plans with someone the next day. Typical. Alex 3, Sandy 0.
2006, Final Fantasy IX: After the sound and round spanking I had received from my competitor last year, I came back re-invigorated and hungry for my first win. The planning and preperations went from 'sketchy' to 'modest', and the level of pumped-osity went from 'not-so-much' to 'Whoo!'. I even had a secret weapon: caffeine pills, to counteract my not-so-secret weakness: constant need for sweet slumber.
This match was held outside in a veranda which certainly helped morale, and amusingly messed with our sense of chronology as we watched the sun set only to see it rise seemingly minutes later.
It was by far the most intense of the competitions, with much hand-wringing and nail-biting... Alex entered the final castle before me, and I felt that all was lost yet again, but upon entering into battle with the final boss, it was HE who was spanked! A surge of energy entered my soul! And then a surge of rationality came to douse the flames. He was nowhere near beating that awful thing, and I was (surprise) slightly weaker. This game was going to last 4 more hours. I, of course, would have whinededly gone to bed were I in his situation, but Alex is made of tougher stuff, and while I blundered on in trying to take my stab at it, he went right back at the villain. Maimed again by a mid-level boss, I pulled my trademark move and gave the hell up to watch him, who, miracle of miracles, was somehow doing far better against the beast this time even though he had not leveled up or gotten any more powerful. My God, ladies and gentlemen, that's Gamesmanship. It was actually with a sense of relief that I saw him take yet another victory. It meant blissful sleep, this time with slightly more dignity for this Shitty Gladiator.
Anyway, we will see if Al can go five for five August 12. My money is on yes, he can. And as you can see, my sense of self-worth has been effectively ravaged by the quadfecta of defeat. In fact, I've made a graph about it:
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